Okay, so I have to admit, I've never put myself on a budget before. I've sloppily jotted down our monthly expenses, added them up, subtracted them from our take-home, and whatever was left over was considered "Fun Money." (Taking the kids out to dinner, shopping, playing Keno, etc.) I've always admired people who have put themselves on strict budgets and actually STUCK to them. I'm 28 years old and Lori is almost *cough, cough, cough*, well... we won't go there, but we're both nearing milestone birthdays, and it's time to get real.
Growing up, Mike and I never heard the word "budget." My Dad's famous saying was, "Nothing but the best for my kids!" Literally, if we wanted a bike, he would buy us the BEST bike he could find. He would even go as far as driving out of town in order to find a certain gift. Of course, this always made us feel very special, and it made Dad happy to be able to buy us nice things, but looking back, it probably wasn't the most healthy way to raise two young children, with the mindset that they always had to have the best of everything. We were spoiled. Absolutely spoiled.
My two major financial flubs occurred during times of major heart ache... the first being after September 11th, 2001, and the second being after the death of my father. After September 11th, I honestly felt as though the entire US would be invaded in some way. I suffered from depression, insomnia, anxiety, and heartache, as did the rest of the world, I'm sure, but my naive 21 year old brain told me to spend, spend, spend! I had a similar response after my father died in April. First, I retreated, then I forced myself to get out of the house. I was too depressed to go out to eat or to shop... I didn't really feel like socializing, but I also didn't want to get too used to being locked in the bedroom, so my "brilliant" retreat became the casino. It was perfect... I could sit at my little machine and get lost in the hypnotizing rhythm of the falling Keno balls, without feeling the need to socialize with anyone around me. The casino became my comfort zone, my distraction, my therapy. (Although, a real therapist would have been a heck of a lot cheaper!!)
Growing up, Mike and I never heard the word "budget." My Dad's famous saying was, "Nothing but the best for my kids!" Literally, if we wanted a bike, he would buy us the BEST bike he could find. He would even go as far as driving out of town in order to find a certain gift. Of course, this always made us feel very special, and it made Dad happy to be able to buy us nice things, but looking back, it probably wasn't the most healthy way to raise two young children, with the mindset that they always had to have the best of everything. We were spoiled. Absolutely spoiled.
My two major financial flubs occurred during times of major heart ache... the first being after September 11th, 2001, and the second being after the death of my father. After September 11th, I honestly felt as though the entire US would be invaded in some way. I suffered from depression, insomnia, anxiety, and heartache, as did the rest of the world, I'm sure, but my naive 21 year old brain told me to spend, spend, spend! I had a similar response after my father died in April. First, I retreated, then I forced myself to get out of the house. I was too depressed to go out to eat or to shop... I didn't really feel like socializing, but I also didn't want to get too used to being locked in the bedroom, so my "brilliant" retreat became the casino. It was perfect... I could sit at my little machine and get lost in the hypnotizing rhythm of the falling Keno balls, without feeling the need to socialize with anyone around me. The casino became my comfort zone, my distraction, my therapy. (Although, a real therapist would have been a heck of a lot cheaper!!)
I have in no way healed yet... I don't know if I ever will, but I want to make sure that I don't fall back into these stages of irresponsibility. Our new goal is to try to save as much money as we can. This means brewing coffee at home instead buying it on the way to work, bringing our lunches, and limiting our outtings to once a week. We're going to try to make a game out of it... after all, with the casino out of the picture, it's the only game we'll be able to play.
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